The Fifth Commandment

We are halfway through the Ten Commandments.

The fifth one is found in Exodus 20:12 
"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

So far, the commandments we have been given have just been that: a command to do or not do something. 
This commandment is the first that comes with a blessing. 

But let's first see what honoring our parents means. Actually, let's first see who "thy father and thy mother" are.

Before we came to earth, we lived with all the other spirits and our Heavenly parents. There are multiple scriptures that testify we existed with God before we came to earth. The first one that comes to mind is in the Old Testament: Job 38:4–7
"4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.
5 Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?
6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;
7 When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"

During that premortal time, we decided that we were going to come to earth, show our willingness to walk by faith and follow His commandments and then, by doing so, return back to Him. Not all wanted this. Lucifer wanted all to be "forced" to do good so that we all would return back home, and he wanted His glory. One third of our spiritual brothers and sisters sided with him and all of them were banished from His presence. But I digress.

The fact that you are here on earth reading this means that you too accepted this plan, our Savior's plan. 

And here come our earthly parents. They are the ones who gave us the physical body we needed to be on this planet. Now, not everyone has been able to keep this family unit "intact." Some of us became orphans; some of us were raised by only one parent; some of us never even knew our parents and were raised by other individuals, although our biological parents were still around.
Whatever our family circumstances, we all had an adult, or more than one adult, help us grow, develop, and learn. These adults became our fathers and/or mothers.

Now that we have talked about our spiritual and earthly parentage, let's talk about ways we can show honor to them.

Our spiritual Father has explained to us the way we Honor Him. When we keep His commandments, we Honor Him. It is not always easy. We all make mistakes, even when we have the best of intentions. But He does not give up on us. He is always there with His hand stretched out to help us. As long as we truly repent and try our best, we honor Him. 

Our earthly parents, biological or not, didn't come with instructions. So, how do we honor them? 
Some of us have experienced heartaches and abuse by their hands. Are we still required to honor them?

I am not here to judge them, nor am I here to tell you what you must do for them and how you must feel towards them. The one thing I know, and I can suggest, is for you to turn to our Savior and ask Him to guide you and direct you in your own circumstances. This suggestion goes for all types of parent/child relationships. 
For example: one way to honor would be to care for them in their late years instead of taking them to a nursing home. However, your circumstances may be such that this is an impossible task, either because of finances or because the parent needs a level of care that cannot be given in a regular home. 
Bottom line is that you need to decide, with the help of our Savior, in what ways you can honor your earthly parents. 

Now to the blessing: "...that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."
No, this does not mean that if we honor them, we will be immortal on this earth. I wish it were that way; I have so much I still need to learn that, honestly, one lifetime is not enough.

So, if earthly immortality is not the promise, what does this mean, especially knowing that there are many children who die very young?
Well, I feel that we all have a certain time to spend here on earth. We don't know our return date, but He does. To me, this promise means that if I honor my parents, I will be able to live whatever days I have on this earth to their fullest and receive all the blessings that are tied to each commandment I obey. 

It is not always easy to follow the fifth commandment. Sometimes, our parents do things that hurt us, and we find it impossible to love them and honor them. This is when we need our Savior even more. He knows how to succor us, heal us, and help us obey even those commandments that seem impossible to obey.